


No Color In Hell

by Panther (PantherTheRogue)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Color AU, Cutting, Depression, F/M, Grinding, M/M, Making Out, Sadstuck, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-26
Updated: 2014-10-26
Packaged: 2018-02-22 15:46:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2513153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PantherTheRogue/pseuds/Panther
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Is he the one…? If we kiss, will it happen? This is so exciting!"</p>
<p>____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________</p>
<p>Your name is Tavros Nitram. You live in a world with no color. None at all. That is, of course, until you find and kiss your true love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Color In Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Major trigger warnings, pay attention to the tags. There is suicide and depression and cutting. Heed the warnings.

He held your hand as he walked you up to your front door. The taller man, your date, had the goofiest grin on his painted face, like he couldn’t believe you were holding hands. Thoughts rushed through your head at the speed of light. _Is he the one…? If we kiss, will it happen? This is so exciting!_

__

You live in a world with no color. None at all. That is, of course, until you find and kiss your true love. And you wanted to see the colors and those fabled rainbows and yellows and blues and greens that Vriska told you about.

She already found her true love, a guy named John Egbert who went to her college. She pretended she saw the colors when you two were dating because she liked you so much, and it guilted you for years that you didn’t see the same until she admitted she had been lying. That was about 5 years ago though, and you two were closer than anyone you knew. She helped you walk with your prosthetics when you got them, though she did make fun of you and bully you for a long time when you were in a wheelchair. But you digress; she calls you up and tells you about new colors a lot.

_“Tavros! I saw a new color today!!” she exclaimed with glee and joy in her grey eyes. She had been dating John for about a week, and she was just learning the new colors. She had to be introduced slowly and carefully, so not to hurt her eyes._

_“It’s called ‘Cobalt’! I think this is my new favorite color! Remember blue? Well, it’s a different blue! I like it even more than boring old blue!! This is so cool, I wanna be the one to teach you about all these colors some day~!”_

  
_Her boasting was getting old. Yes, she was excited, but you wished you could see it. She said you’d like the color ‘Brown” because it matched your boringness. It made you depressed every time she mentioned color. When you went home, you hopped into the shower. You grabbed your black razor blade and drew warm black blood from your veins. Your dark grey skin was great for concealing the cuts to people who couldn’t see color, which was nobody in your family. Rufioh could see color since he was 14. Your dad could see color. You were 17. Why don’t you get to see this magical, beautiful color?_

__

_Rufioh looks broken whenever he sees the grey lines on your wrists, stomach, chest, everywhere you can reach with the blades. He says it looks red, not grey. You don’t give a shit. It’ll be grey to you forever, since nobody could ever love you._

__

_Dad keeps getting mad about your hospitalizations, too. Well, not mad. Disappointed would be a better word. You see the sadness in his black eyes. He sees the hate in your colorful eyes. Your “brown” eyes. He sees the “purple” bags under your eyes. He sees the “red” in your bloodshot eyes. Your “tan” skin is littered with “pale” scars. It made you sick. The hospital staff says it gets better, that cutting isn’t the answer, that you’ll regret it once you can see color. You’ll be dead before the time you see color._

__

_You crawl into bed every night, sobbing yourself to sleep. You would never be loved. You were broken, ugly, weak, stupid, boring…_

__

_Boring. Boring is a word you hear on a daily basis. Boring is the reason you have no friends. Boring is the reason you’ll never see blues and purples and yellows and oranges and greens and purples and pinks and cobalts and periwinkles and jades and crimsons and lavenders and all these wonderful things. You think, if you lived for ten thousand years, you wouldn’t see these colors anyway._

He stops at your doorway. He looks nervous. You’re sure you do, too. You had a huge smile on your face, though.

“I had a really good time, Gamzee…”

He nodded at you, too nervous to speak. You both stand there awkwardly for a little bit, looking everywhere except for each other. Just as you open your mouth to say something, he begins talking as well.

“I-”

“So-”

You both stop.

  
“Uh… You can go first…”

“Nah, this motherfucker wasn’t gun’ say nothin important…”

“... Okay… So… Uh, do you want to come in, maybe…?”

He smiled in relief.

“I’d love that, motherfucker.”

_____________________________________________________________________________

****  
  


Three hours later, you’re both laughing hysterically at embarrassing stories of each other. You wipe your eyes from the joyful tears and you glance at the clock.

“Ah, shit, it’s almost 1 in the morning…”

“This motherfucker don’t gotta go home, I can stay the whole night~”

“You’ll, uh, be late for work. And so will I.”

He pouted at you and you stuck your tongue out at him. There was no kissing yet, but you’ve both caught each other catching glances at the other’s mouth. You both wanted to, but you didn’t have the courage. His lips looked slightly chapped and his teeth were a slight grey color from childhood neglect. His tongue had a piercing straight through it, and his lip had the same thing on both sides of his bottom lip. You wanted that tongue in your mouth, exploring, lip piercings tickling your own lips, tongue piercing rolling over your perfectly white, though crooked, teeth.

You hadn’t noticed that you were caught up in your thoughts and were just staring at his lips awkwardly, biting your lower lip slightly. When you finally realized what you were doing, and he was doing the exact same thing. His tongue flicked over his lips quickly and he played with his tongue studs with his teeth. His eyelids were low and his eyes gleamed with desire. You were absolutely sure you looked the same way.

He leaned in slowly. And so did you.

Before you knew it, both your eyes were closed and his warm lips were pressed to your own. His lips moved with yours as you kissed, not daring to open your eyes. You sigh into his mouth with lustful intentions, and he ate up tour offer. He first ran his tongue across your lips, piercing and all, and you wrap your arms around his neck. He took the signal and dove right into things. He wrapped his tongue around your own, sliding his hands onto your waist. You sighed again and he bit your lip aggressively, succeeding in making your dick twitch. You could have sworn you heard a feral growl from deep in his throat, which just turned you on even more.

You yanked roughly at his hair, and he threw you down on the couch, climbing on top of you. You wouldn’t allow yourself to open your eyes. you could feel him put his hands next to your head, his pelvis resting on your own. He was as hard as you were. He shoved his tongue down your throat as he grinded slowly on you, picking up the pace the tighter you held his hair. You could have came that second if he hadn’t slowed to a stop. You could hear him panting above you.

“...Tav… You… You’re so beautiful…”

You open your eyes and see grey eyes staring straight back at you.

“You look even more beautiful in color… Tavros… I think I love you…”

He closed his eyes and kissed you again. Your eyes darted to your surroundings. Grey, black, white… Nothing had changed. Absolutely nothing. You sit straight up, bumping heads with him. You were too distraught to notice his or your pain.

“Tav, what-”

“Get out.”

“W-what? Tav, I-”

“Get out. Now.”

You got up and literally shoved him out the door, slamming and locking the door behind you.

You fell to the floor, staring at your colorless hands. You got up and walked upstairs.

****  
  


______________________________________________________________________________

****  
  


They found your dead body hanging from the ceiling fan in your bedroom. You had covered yourself in deep cuts before you killed yourself so those who could see color would see the disgusting “red”. The autopsy reports state that you had been colorblind anyway, regardless of if you found your true love or not. Gamzee killed himself two days afterwards. He overdosed on the many pills he had to take on a daily basis. Vriska attempted suicide, but John saved her and helped her get through it. She doesn’t talk about you anymore, or else she’ll go into a panic attack.

Love was never meant for someone like you, anyway.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry guys. I was gunna make it cute but then this happened ;ww;


End file.
